I was tired of feeling so disconnected from my life and myself. As I was cutting up strawberries to serve with lunch I noticed that one of the berries stood out from the rest. I tried to stay on task but I couldn’t take my eyes off this single piece of unripe fruit.

@ 2014 Andi Schreiber, Tart, from the series “Pretty, Please.” Courtesy of the artist.

This photograph takes me to straight to Boca Raton, which is a perpetually glowing place—lush with manicured plantings and deep blue skies. My parents spend most of the winter there. At least once each year, for no less than eight days, I visit them with my boys. For his own set of reasons, my husband chooses not to join us on these trips. While there, I mostly keep to myself although family surrounds me. I’m not sure if it’s the experience of being under my parent’s roof that keeps me on edge or that I’m there independent of my husband. It’s usually a week in which I feel unrooted and lost. I find that I question everything – from my basic existence to my next meal.

While that may sound like an uncomfortable way to spend a vacation I’ve been able channel my anxiety into making photographs. This image occurred spontaneously. I realize that’s an odd thing to say being that I’m in the photograph. It would seem to be staged but because I work from a very emotional place I always know when it’s time to pick up the camera. There’s rarely any planning involved in my process.

It would seem to be staged but because I work from a very emotional place I always know when it’s time to pick up the camera. There’s rarely any planning involved in my process.

It was our last day in Boca and we had just come in from the pool. I’m was still in my bathing suit and racing around to prepare lunch for my boys while simultaneously packing our bags. We needed to move quickly in order to catch our flight out. At that point, I was longing to be at home. I was tired of feeling so disconnected from my life and myself. As I was cutting up strawberries to serve with lunch I noticed that one of the berries stood out from the rest. I tried to stay on task but I couldn’t take my eyes off this single piece of unripe fruit. I can’t explain my compulsion but I snuck the strawberry out of the kitchen and into my bedroom. I quickly made a few frames of the berry in my palm, but none of them described my fascination. I then placed it in between my lips and paused. In that very harried moment I needed to feel something.

I never expected this photograph to be personally meaningful. In fact, making this image felt like an indecent act. Surprised by the results, I enjoy the contrast between the relative youth of the strawberry against my pigmented skin, creased lips and the tension in my neck. I titled this photograph Tart, which speaks not only to the strawberry’s immature flavor but also to my lascivious nature.

—Andi Schreiber

Andi Schreiber is a fine art and documentary photographer. A lifelong New Yorker, Andi was born in Brooklyn, raised on Long Island and currently lives in suburban Westchester County with her husband and sons. In her prior life, she was a photojournalist and a magazine and newspaper picture editor in New York City. In 2013 Andi was a Critical Mass finalist and her photographs were recently exhibited at Newspace Center for Photography in Portland, Oregon and Kendall College of Art and Design in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Her work has been featured on the New York Times Lens Blog, Slate France, Feature Shoot and The Huffington Post.

View more work on the artist’s website at www.andischreiber.com.